Tag: blog

There’s chaos, and then there’s CHAOS…

On By Willow CroftIn Uncategorized4 Comments

If I were a character in the Dungeons & Dragons realm, my alignment would be, without a doubt, chaotic.

Most likely either Chaotic Good or Chaotic Neutral, but after a lifetime (IRL) of living in said chaotic state, it does wear you down.

It raises the question about whether selfishness (Chaotic Evil) is what it takes to be successful in this world, especially in terms of financial success.

It’s hard not to, when I look around and see that the people in power who have money and everything they want could be classified by those terms (yes, I’m oversimplifying things, but…), and to lose faith both in the world, and in one’s self.

Especially as one long dedicated to animals, nature, and social justice, for example.

But, like most creatives, I’m using this (midlife-transition-slash-crisis) state of mind as fodder for a future novel with a character facing not just a philosophical crisis but an ethical one as well.

Part of this process is tied into trying to simplify both my life and my mind; to try to get to the essence of who I actually am, and freeing myself from certain imposed proscriptions based on gender, etc.

It’s a bit frustrating to be stuck in this thought limbo while I navigate this transition, as I am also not up to my usual level of productivity (writing short stories, keeping up with blog-reading, applying for jobs*) because there is so much I can’t set aside, such as attempting to get a better-paying job, paying down debt, and trying to keep a roof over my head.

My pie-in-the-sky hope, though, is to emigrate to Canada someday soon…I’ve been looking at places in Ontario like London and Guelph and Toronto.

I’m hoping to do a bit of a crossover in themes between this and my other blog, but I may be too close…too immersed in the emotion of transition, to make it interesting to read. But in this madcap world, I’m not only going to do these online “journal entries” but break out my old paper journals and start that up again.

https://kirstenleebarger.com/2026/04/26/it-only-sounds-simple/

How are you all faring with everything that is going on?

*Course, I’ve been applying for jobs since 1998: thousands of customized cover letters/resumes, dedicated job hunting, going back to school three different times, and still not being able to break out of this financial plateau. So, yes, a long haul, with not much to show for it except more student loan debt.

 

Michigan-landia

On By Willow CroftIn Uncategorized25 Comments

I have a lot swirling around in my head and my heart and my soul; the terrible events happening here are taking center stage in my consciousness, naturally.

But I did make it to Michigan. It’s lovely with all the winter fairy-ness, and my apartment is wonderful.

The cats especially love it; in the space of an afternoon/evening, the wildlife cam I used to get some cat cameos actually snapped 231 photos of my devilish duo playing and running around (nope, I’m not exaggerating!).

It may take me a while to get back into the habit of blog reading, although I did miss keeping up with all your adventures, for sure!

At the same time, it was (and still is) really hard to return to the digital realm after, what, two months away from the screen? Sigh.

Anyway, I’m still just getting organized and trying to get some sort of writing/blogging/job-hunting schedule put together around my day job hours.

I was going through my WP Reader, and I didn’t see any posts from the Evil Squirrel’s Nest? I tried to go to the site address directly, and it says it might not be up anymore? Anyone have any updates?

Who else’s blog(s) might have been 86ed?

How are you all faring out there, in the digiverse and in other…dimensions?

I did manage to get my second master’s in professional science (wildlife conservation & advocacy) and I’m taking some more certification courses and other schooling in things like organizational development and change.

And I’m trying to regain my fluency in Spanish, though French might be better depending on whether I manage to pull off emigrating to Canada. I’m also considering Mexico.

Fill me in on all your new news in the comments! I can’t wait to hear what you all have been up to!

 

 

The “Stories From Within” Project and other news…

On By Willow CroftIn Uncategorized25 Comments

Yes, I’ve been away from WordPress for quite some time. I’ve lost track of how long it’s been since I’ve been on here, reading posts and such. It’s at the point where going back and catching up on all the missed posts from you all is probably a lost cause, because it’s been soooooo long. Apologies to you all.

The good news is that I at least have a place to live and managed to get my belongings safely into a storage unit. I won’t say too much about the place I found, but it’s at least a roof over my head. Well, most importantly, a roof over my cats’ furry little heads.

In short, things were even more stressful and unstable than usual. I’m riding it out here in southern Illinois until December, and am revisiting the idea to move to Virginia, but I am more likely looking at Michigan. Canada is still a ways off due to costs, but I’ll be taking bitty steps as I can towards that emigration goal.

The theme of things right now for me is just “getting through”. Admittedly, like so many others out there, I’ve been horrified, disgusted, appalled, furious, and depressed over the actions of the current Trump administration. While not religious, I’ve also been having a severe crisis of faith about the example Trump and his cronies are displaying…because here are these corrupt, callous, greedy, deplorable people that get handed everything they want–money, power, influence–while so many that are good people and doing good, compassionate, ethical work are trapped at the bottom of this social and political system here in the United States and are lucky to even have the funds to buy food–and forget about healthcare, retirement, or even an adequate and safe place to live.

So this leads me to my idea to record and post people’s stories about the impact Trump and his administration is having on them, either directly or indirectly. If you’d like to participate, or know someone who would, please check out the post on my other blog, here:

https://kirstenleebarger.com/2025/07/13/stories-from-within/