Where did March go?

March has vanished in the blink of an eye, hasn’t it?

Spring seems to have sprung.

I bought a ten-gallon container of bug spray at the local hardware store. Die, spiders, die!

I’m going to be barbequing up nice thick beef steaks on the old grill tonight to celebrate the arrival of Spring. Actually, I’m just going to skip the grill because I like my steaks raw and bloody!

I can’t wait to roll around in pesticide-laden turf grass. I just love the fresh smell of Round-up in the Springtime, don’t you?

I’m tired of being destitute, so I’ve bought shares in the oil and gas industry. Frack on!

I’ve decided to join the Republican Party because the far right could really use a nice warm hug right now! Poor rich politicians!

Oh, and big news! I’ve signed up to take shooting lessons at the local gun range in preparation for the awesome trophy hunt I’ve signed up for. Can’t wait until my maskless summer vacation! FREEDOM!

Let’s see, now, what else have I been up to?

Oh, yeah, just one more thing…

~

~

~

~

~

HAPPY APRIL FOOL’S DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spring…Building?:(Re)Constructing My Author Platform

So, I’m in the process of working out a social media plan as part of that necessary evil, the author platform!

Plus, I need to fine-tune it to get a handle on my online interactions as, thanks to Comcast and other internet service providers, and the state of New Mexico, I cannot get reliable internet access to run my business and my writing career.

Until I get a working plan and schedule in place, some of my blog reading (and other social media interactions)  will be pretty sporadic. But, once I weather through this process, I hope to be interacting a lot more online, and a lot more efficiently.

In addition to the above process, I’m working as hard as I can to find employment out of state (feel free to talk up the wonders of your home state!), and I hope to relocate sometime this summer. There’s tons of other motivating factors: I miss the ocean, I can’t find a decent-paying job here, etc. etc., blah blah blah, whine, whine. *laughs* But, again, the main reason is that I cannot get internet service at my house. Who knew that being without internet would make such an impact on things, but it has been very stressful lately.

It’s not helped by the fact that it’s like Mad Max out there in trying to commute to the place where I can get online for a couple of hours in the morning before the day job. (And I’m from Florida, where we all drive like jerks). But my goodness, I’ve nearly been run off the road by people passing me on the double yellow line, I’ve also nearly been run off the road by people coming the other direction. (Apparently it’s a thing where New Mexico drivers like to take up the whole road, regardless of whatever traffic happens to be coming the other way–other vehicles, commercial trucks, school buses, you get the idea, and they are all fair game to the typical New Mexico driver playing the game of chicken.)

And, for some reason, even when it’s just faintly twilight, New Mexico drivers cannot live with darkness. It’s not even dark and it’s all “OMG YOU’RE DRIVING WITH ONLY YOUR PARKING/SAFETY LIGHTS ON” (or whatever they’re called) and New Mexico drivers are suddenly concerned with driver safety to the extent that they will honk, flash lights, and slow down and gesture to you frantically out of the window (as they almost run themselves off the road) to get you to turn your full lights on.

And, speaking of lights, oh boy, are New Mexicans addicted to their high beams. I have some vision damage, and I don’t have any problems driving around with no brights on at night. But, my guess is it’s something to do with the fact that they are going 90 to 100 miles an hour down some tiny rural road (and, no, for once I am not exaggerating about the speeds here) and these drivers will not only not budge an inch as they take up the whole road for themselves, but will refuse to turn off their brights. And these drivers, boy, if they are behind you, they just love to tailgate you with those brights on. You almost wish they would pass you, even if it means they run you off one of New Mexico’s crumbling, pothole-ridden roads and into a tumbleweed the size of your car. The only time they slow down is when it rains, and, even if it’s just a tiny sprinkle, it’s like it’s an end-of-the-world deluge to these sun-dependent New Mexicans.

I’m actually quite terrified to drive anywhere in New Mexico these days, and I’ve driven across this country multiple times: Manhattan at rush hour, Atlanta, Connecticut with their aggressive commercial truck drivers, and Florida, of course, and I have a death grip on the wheel the entire time I’m commuting to my internet service location or to the day job.

No wonder why I write horror these days… *laughs*

Anyway, back to the point of this blog, feel free to share any author platform building tips, or even talk up the wonders of where you live, as I’m open to moving almost anywhere there’s a water source and job possibilities!

Happy almost Friday!